What’s Your Parenting Footprint?

Three nights ago, I attended a town meeting of sorts at my daughter’s middle school.  The back story is that a couple of months ago our school superintendent and the middle school principal attended a PTO meeting to answer questions about the middle school and were confronted by a group of parents who had real, heartfelt, serious concerns about various aspects of our 6th through 8th graders’ school experience.  These concerns had less to do with academics per se and were more focused on the perceived negativity that pervades the school, the fact that the kids have to have assigned seating at lunch, and that if a parent questions a teacher, the child will feel the repercussions.  In other words, you had a room full of pissed-off moms, a principal who no doubt felt like a deer in the headlights, and a superintendent who was trying to navigate that fine line between supporting his administrator and being sympathetic to our concerns.

This meeting the other night came out of that first one.  We were instructed to submit our questions and concerns ahead of time so that the administrators and faculty could prepare answers.  The superintendent would act as moderator and our concerns would be addressed.

If nothing else, the meeting helped the middle school administration’s image a little bit, as this is the first time I can recall (this is my second child to go through middle school) that they were willing to actually listen to our concerns without immediately becoming defensive and circling the wagons, shutting parents out.  I have always been a vocal critic of this particular administration, but after that meeting, while I can’t say I’ve softened my stance, I think I at least gained a partial understanding of where their position comes from.

What left the biggest impression on me is what I learned about some of my fellow parents.  When questioned about the school’s dress code, for example, the principal shared that many times she has called home when a student is dressed inappropriately for school, only to be met with a response like, “who are you to tell me what my child can wear?”  Likewise, when she has called home when a student is seen just wandering around the campus (which is shared with our high school) after school with no place to be but in trouble, the reply is often, “it’s a public place, what’s the problem?”

Wow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  I am so embarrassed by my generation of parents.  There seems to be a blatant disregard for rules, authority and a basic sense of right and wrong, and I don’t know where it comes from.  A good friend, also present at the meeting, sums it up this way.  She feels that the almighty dollar has become so precious, so important to these parents, that anything that might interfere with the work day is just seen as a common annoyance; a fly to be swatted away.   Are we so stressed out, so overworked, so over-extended that we are neglecting the most important job of all?  What kind of future leaders are we raising?  What will our grandchildren be like if we are not instilling those values, that respect for authority, that sense of right and wrong in our children?  Never mind global warming and our carbon footprint.  It’s our parenting footprint, or lack thereof we need to worry about.